


rewrite the stars (say you were meant to be mine)

by chuyasexual



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Supportive Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 20:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17835440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuyasexual/pseuds/chuyasexual
Summary: It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Lance thinks as he stares at the blue markings on his face in the bathroom mirror.





	rewrite the stars (say you were meant to be mine)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday fic to one of the loves of my life, snei! If you're reading this, I love you.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Lance thinks as he stares at the blue markings on his face in the bathroom mirror. 

When Lance imagined his future 10 years ago, he had imagined himself and Allura on a warm Sunday morning, curled up in an armchair and doing the crossword. He would laugh and suggest inappropriate words for each of the blanks and Allura would shush him each time, but stare at him with that fond look on her face that meant she wasn’t really angry. The war had long been over and they had just began to settle in to their new lives together. 

He would look into her beautiful bluish-violet eyes, at her hair the color of snow and her skin the color of dulce de leche just like his mama used to make when he was sick, and he wouldn’t be able to understand just how he got this beautiful amazing women to love him. He would run his fingers through a white strand draping her face, and think about the years before them, about the wedding ring he had hidden in his sock drawer, about the children with dark skin and light hair that they would eventually have. He would think about growing old together, and always making sure to meet up with the others no matter how many light years away they were.

He forces himself out of his thoughts when he hears a sharp knock on the bathroom door.

“Lance?” Keith calls out. “Everything okay in there?” Lance forces himself to take a deep breath, ignoring the tears spilling down his cheeks. 

“Everything’s fine”, Lance calls back, trying to sound normal the best he can. It can’t have been believable, but he hears Keith’s footsteps move away nonetheless.

Lance sighs, turning back to the mirror. He splashes some water on his face and tries not to look at his reflection in the mirror, at the markings on the face that are so very much like hers, too much, in fact. 

It’s been ten years since Allura died and he still hasn’t quite dealt with it the way the others have. His therapist has assured him that it’s okay, that pain is not something to move on from and never think about ever again. She told him that his relationship to her was different from anyone else, that she was his girlfriend, of course it’s not easy to get over it.

But Lance can’t quite accept that. He’s never bought into the whole idea that your significant other is more important to you than anyone else. As his sister Rachel had put it after he had cried about about her getting married, it’s a different kind of love, but that doesn’t make it any less stronger or weaker. They were all close to Allura and they all loved her the same he did. Yet he was the one standing in front of the mirror, ten years later, unable to think about his ex-girlfriend without bursting into tears. 

It’s not always like this. On the good days, Lance can reminiscence about the times they spent together and think fondly of them, be happy that they got any time to spend together at all. On the bad days, well…

The bad days are unpleasant. But he gets through them, they all do. They survive and they move on, knowing just how precious life is now that they knew what the cost of their survival was.

“Lance”, Keith calls out again from the door, “If you don’t come out in the next minute I’m kicking the door then.” The thought makes a smile inadvertently comes to Lance’s face.

He wipes his face with a towel, opens the door, and walks into the arms of the man he loves. Keith’s arms tighten around him, a protective aura emanating from him and Lance sighs as he burrows his face in the other man’s neck.

“Bad day?” Keith murmurs softly, and Lance nods, tears falling faster from his face. He must be wetting Keith’s T-shirt but the other man doesn’t seem to care at all as he pulls him closer. They stand like that for a while, two bodies intertwined in the morning sunlight. 

Keith pulls back and takes Lance by the hand, gently moving him over to the couch. Lance allows him to do so, wiping tears from his face all the while. Guess all that face washing was for nothing, he thinks. 

After sitting him on the sofa, Keith gets up and grabs two mugs from the counter. Once he brings them closer Lance realized they’re filled with hot chocolate, his favorite drink. Keith must have realized his mental state earlier from how long he spent in the bathroom. He smiles at the thoughtfulness of his husband.

Keith passes him a mug and they drink in silence for bit, Lance recognizes it as Keith’s attempt to give him space for a bit. Lance leans against him as he drinks and Keith puts his hand on his thigh. The action makes Lance shiver, as does the heated look that Keith gives him.

Once he’s done with the hot chocolate, he sets down the empty mug on the carpet, not wanting to walk the ten steps to place it on the counter. Keith gives him a look, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he turns fully to face Lance.

“Do you want to talk about?” Keith asks seriously. In the beginning, when they were completely new to each other, and especially to each other alone, Keith had been clueless on how to deal with anything relating to emotions or Lance, let alone emotions and Lance. But after almost 8 years ago, they’ve both learned how to become comfortable with each other. It’s something that Lance would have never imagined happening, but is insanely greatful that it has.

“I can’t stop thinking about her”, Lance admits. Keith accepts the admission with a nod. There’s no jealousy in his eyes that even after ten years, after they’ve dated and married and love each other, Lance still feels the echo of love with Allura.

“She was important to you”, Keith had said when they first began dating. “Of course you miss her. I can’t fault you for loving her any less than you can fault me for loving you.”

“Maybe it’s the anniversary coming up but I just can’t stop thinking what if-”

“It wasn’t your fault”, Keith cuts in, like he always does when Lance is like that. “She made her choice.”

Lance closes his eyes, and tries to make himself believe the words are true. Even after all these years, it’s hard not to blame himself and wish he was dead in her place. Especially sitting in the living room where him and Keith had made their home. There are photos everywhere, of him and Keith dancing and laughing, unbearably happy, of Shiro and Curtis’ wedding, of Hunk and the chefs at his new restaurant, postcards from Matt and Pidge and the different planets they’ve travelled. It’s unfair that he gets to experience all this, that he gets to be in love and be happy, while Allura died for them all. 

“Look, Lance”, Keith interrupts his thoughts, looking him straight in the eyes, “She sacrificed herself to save us. She was braver and stronger than any of us, and thinking that anything you could have just saved her like she was some damsel in distress is only disrespectful to her”. 

Lance looks at him and nods, almost hesitantly. Keith seems to accept the silent admission and wraps a hand around his shoulders, pulling him close once more. They sit like that, silently enjoying each other’s presence and being thankful for it. Lance thinks back to his imagined future with Allura, and imagines the role that Keith would play in it. Sure, Keith would still be there their friend, but he would increasingly more and more distant as the years went on, unwilling to be witness to their epic love story. After their wedding, he would all but disappear, going to spread the aid of the Blade of Marmora to different planets across the galaxy. Lance, with his son Rafael might wonder why from time to time, but he would probably dismiss Keith as being happy doing what he was.  
If it weren’t for Allura dying, Lance might never have found out that Keith had feelings for him the whole time, that he was bisexual and they would have had more in common than they thought possible. Keith might’ve married someone else, and Lance would have been surprised but accepting that it was a guy.

Even in an alternate universe, the thought makes Lance’s heart hurt. He curls even closer into Keith and twirls his fingers through his long hair, not yet put in his trademark bun or ponytail. Keith makes a sound that suspiciously sounds like a moan as Lance continues and it sounds like honey to his ears. He turns to face Keith, their eyes meeting and Lance doesn’t protest as Keith moves forward to kiss him. 

The kiss is chaste at first as they enjoy the familiar easy feeling of each other’s lips. Lance wraps his hands around the other’s neck. It quickly begins to turn dirty though, Lance’s hands sliding down to dig his fingers into Keith’s hips as the other man places his hands on the curve of his spine. Lance sucks on Keith’s bottom lips, biting hard enough to draw blood and the other man retaliates by moving in his hips in a way that sets Lance’s blood on fire.

It’s so, so good, Lance thinks, as he pulls at Keith’s shirt, desperate to get it off. 

It’s not that Allura dying was for the best. He wishes that he could have prevented her death with all his heart, but he’s happy like this, with Keith, in their shared home that they’ve had for about three months since the wedding.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but Lance is okay with the way things turned out. Someday, if not today, he’ll accept that.

For now, he thinks as he glances up at Keith, towering over him with his hands on either side of Lance’s face, he has his husband to help him along the way.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Ya girl is really about to be back on her bullshit with procrastinating both her work and her fics.


End file.
